“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Abraham Lincoln.

We don’t all feel excited, happy, vibrant and full of life all the time. We don’t all feel valued at work. Sometimes life isn’t the rosy picture we’d like it to be. Life can be tough, or we go through tough phases, but the tactic is to swim if you can, rather than struggle.

Try to get up in the morning and find some piece of happiness in every day. While the picture-perfect life may not be yours, a happier one can be. You are not exempt from all the good things you live for because your current situation is difficult. Everyone wants to be healthy and happy. So, what are the differences between happy and unhappy people? What is the secret to a happy life? Is it love? Is it money? Is it a fulfilling career? Your thoughts have a more powerful effect on your life than you might realise. The power of positivity can have a huge impact on your happiness.

Below are some tips for living a happier, healthier life:

1. Stop negative thinking
A negative mind will never give you a positive life. Stop thoughts that are limiting and self-defeating like “I can’t do that” or “I’m not good enough”. Don’t believe everything you think. Negative and pessimistic thinking is unhelpful. It can hold you back from achieving your goals and greater self-confidence. Replace negative thoughts with words that are positive and motivating. At the beginning it may be difficult, but the more you use positive messages, the better you will feel.

“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.”
Lisa M. Hayes.

2. Stop comparing yourself to other people

It is an unhealthy habit, but even the most confident people do it. Constant comparison with others make you feel bad about yourself. It can also lower your self-esteem. You begin to question your own worth. This can lead to frustration, depression or eating disorders in some. You can also over-spend and feel you’re not good enough. Life is not a competition. If you make it one, nobody will win. It’s always a losing battle, because the only person you’re hurting in the end is yourself. The reason is because someone, somewhere, is always better than you! Stop comparing and start living

“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our ‘behind the scenes’ life with everyone else’s highlight reel”
Steven Furtick.

3. Don’t be a victim

You create your own life, so prepare to take responsibility for it. Even if situations become unbearable, there is always a way out, a plan b. You will always have the choice to make a change, but you might have to prepare to choose it. If something isn’t working, change it, don’t wait for things to change by themselves. Things often don’t get better without action

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
Martin Luther King. JR

4. Don’t people-please

Respect yourself and others will respect you, it can be as easy as that. Don’t spend your whole life trying to make everyone else happy often at your own expense. Practice building self-awareness, to discover what you are willing to do and what you don’t want to do. Start putting this into practice. Say “no” when something doesn’t resonate or align with your values. People may get upset at first, but most will come to respect you more for it.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself”
Paolo Coehlo.

5. Love yourself

Self-esteem is all about how much you feel you are worth – and how much you feel other people value you. Your level of self-esteem affects your happiness and everything you do. The more value you place on yourself, the more others value you.

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet”
Mahatma Gandhi.

6. Be you!

Don’t try to be somebody else. Take control of your life and live it by your own rules. Find a personal style that feels good to you and be proud of it. There is no one like you and that is your power! Trying to be like someone else will drain the energy from you. Don’t continue to compare yourself and attempt to measure up to them – be you and don’t try to live a double life.

“Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde.

7. Care for yourself

Eat a healthy diet, exercise, drink plenty of water and sleep at least 7 hours per night whenever possible. If you don’t get enough sleep, you and everything else can suffer. Sleep deprivation puts your mental and physical health at risk. It’s quite possible to become depressed through sleep deprivation. Look after yourself because no one else knows what it feels like to be you. No-one can look after your needs better than you!

“But darling… in the end you’ve got to be your own hero, because everybody’s busy trying to save themselves.”
C.T.

8. Don’t strive for perfection

Nobody is perfect. You can always find someone who is more attractive, smarter, richer, than you. You won´t find someone who is perfect as we all have flaws. Seeking perfection at a particular task might be achievable. The goal of being perfect in life is impossible. The pursuit of perfection limits our ability to be present and robs us of the vitality of life. It is unachievable, unimaginable and undesirable, so why pursue it? Your time would be better spent in delving into how to heal the desire for perfection if that’s what you need. Concentrate on things that make you happy.

“We are all a little broken. That’s how the light gets in.”
Hemingway.

9. Concentrate on your strengths not your weaknesses

Focus on what you have already achieved and reached, not what you lack and miss. Be proud of yourself and know your strengths. Avoid negative people, places, and things you don’t like or that make you feel bad about yourself. Being around toxic people can drain your energy, make you unhappy and insecure. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, give you energy and make you feel good about yourself. Focusing on your strengths will have a positive impact on both your work and home life. This leaves you feeling more confident, more motivated and more able to focus and achieve.

“Your life is controlled by what you focus on.”
Tony Robbins.

10. Stay focused on the present moment

When the past and the future feel painful, focus on the task at hand and do it with your full engagement. Enjoy your life, make the best out of it!

“Don’t let the darkness from your past block the light of joy in your present…”
Karen Salmansohn

11. Forgive yourself

Feeling bad about things you’ve done in the past can create a pretty painful, unhappy and bitter present. Remember that you can choose to begin afresh any day. Your past does not have to predict your future unless you make it.

“ In order to heal we must first forgive… and sometimes the person we must forgive is ourselves.” Mila Bron

12. Be grateful

Gratitude is an attitude and a way of living that has many benefits for health and happiness. Feeling and expressing gratitude for what we do turns our mental focus to the good. Focus on positive things in life as this in turn, creates more things to be grateful for. Life is a gift, and it’s short, never forget that.

“Be thankful for what you have: you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
Oprah Winfrey.